To Do Lists of Marriage

“I’m feeling too stressed out from all that I have going on tomorrow and this whole week! I just can’t right now, because I feel too overwhelmed with it all.” She said to her husband after he offered to help her relax in a way he knows works.

Here is an example of a frequent exchange of words within marriages. See what is happening? In this scenario, the wife who feels overwhelmed, turns down an opportunity to enhance their marital fondness and admiration. The husband was attempting to revive it.

In marriages it is all too easy to let our fondness and admiration for one another slip away, especially with all the to do’s that steal our time, thoughts, and focus.

            Time

            Time is a precious commodity that can only be spent, not saved. With all the nitty gritties that keep our lives and homes functioning, there is never quite enough time to do it all. I once read from a finance book, “You can’t have everything you want, but you can have anything you want.” Do you want a happy marriage or your checklist completed? When we put our rocks before sand, every

needful thing will be accomplished. Relationships are rocks. Sand is everything else in life. There are four main relationships to put first: your relationship with God, your relationship with yourself, your relationship with your spouse, and children and lastly, your relationship with fellowman.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, an apostle of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, “I think most of us intuitively understand how important the fundamentals are. It is just that we sometimes get distracted by so many things that seem more enticing.”

Thoughts

            Our thoughts are seeds of our actions. Negative thoughts produce negative actions. Positive thoughts produce positive actions. Our actions affect our relationships. What thoughts are you planting about your spouse? Take time to intentionally list positives about your partner. Then share those positives with your spouse. See what grows.

            Focus

          Here is the real sign of a committed relationship. Where is your focus? Everyday ask yourself, “Where is my focus?” You spend your time and your thoughts on your focus. Do you find yourself positively thinking of your spouse when they are not around you? Commitment, as discussed by Robert Lauer, “in marriage seems to mean three things: promise, dedication, and attachment.” The author defines commitment as “a promise of dedication to a relationship in which there is an emotional attachment to another person who has made the same promise.” Focus guides our thoughts and the ways we spend our time. When we are committed, we are focused.

            Marriage is fun! Marriage can be happy and wonderful! It’s not fake nor surreal. It’s joyous! True, marriage is filled with sacrifice and giving of self, but those sacrifices are like “down payments” for the eternal joys that follow! (Goddard, 35). Our “To Do” list items change from sandy foundations to solid rock foundations. Be like the wise man who built his house upon the rock (Matthew 7:24-25). When we give our time, positive thoughts and focus to our loved ones our relationship is enhanced with joy beyond measure and love at home.

Uchtdorf, Dieter F. “Of Things that Matter Most” General Conference October, 2010. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2010/10/of-things-that-matter-most?lang=eng

Goddard, H. Wallace. “Drawing Heaven into your Marriage” Meridian Publishing, 2007.

Holy Bible, Matthew 7, vs 24-25.